How to explain anything... even yourself

Most people hate explanations. But not because they don’t want to understand.
It is because they’ve rarely been given a good one.

Often it’s just a rambling of words, no structure and something that leaves you with more questions than you had before.

The only thing you might like worse than a bad explanation, is trying to explain something yourself. You have heard so many bad ones, and you don’t want to do the same.

What if I tell you that there is a simple change of perspective that makes all the difference?

And what if I told you that this applies to a much wider set of circumstances than you might realize.

Why you are bad at giving explanations.

I am willing to bet that, unless you have practiced, almost every explanation you have ever done, has been bad and ineffective.

In school you were taught one way of explaining things. And it is good at only one thing.

When a teacher asked you a question, you answered. You might have started with a definition, provided some background, quoted some well chosen statistic and pointed to some important details, all with the sole purpose of proving to the teacher that you understood the topic.

And this is the core of the problem. We are all taught to explain things in this way.
You explain so that you can show someone else that you have understood.

Outside of schools, that is rarely a relevant skill.

In order to improve how you explain things, you need to shift your mindset, from trying to show them that you have done your homework, to instead becoming the teacher.

And that is a skill that most of us never practice.

The one shift that transforms how you explain things.

The first step is being aware that you are now the guide and have to act like one.

Remove all the fancy terms, acronyms and complicated relationships.
You might know them but remember, you are not trying to get an “A” here.

You want to make sure that they understand.
How do you do that?

By asking questions and listening for relevant details that they might have missed.

Think of it as guiding someone through a maze.
You can run ahead and prove that you can find your way through, very fast.

But, again, that is not the point.
The point is helping someone else to find their way through the maze.

In order to do that you need to slow down.

• warn about common areas where you might get lost.

• point out important signs to get back on track.

• pause at intersections and ask them to choose.

I would argue that we all have the ability to understand anything, as long as it is explained clearly enough. In other words, with enough time, interest and a skilled guide, we can learn to navigate any maze.

Does that mean that everyone needs to be a guide? No. That is not in everyone’s interest.

And regardless of what area you want to explore, it has never been easier to find a guide to help you. Free videos, podcasts, blogs, and courses, offer countless paths, topics and areas to discover.

There is one maze though, that no one can help you with.
One maze where only you can be the guide and the expert.
And that is the maze in your own mind.

Want to explain better? Start writing.

Explaining something means “to make clear”, to help someone to truly see.
But you often only think of explaining, in situations of teaching.
To clarify concepts like gravity or friction.

But you also use it when you want to understand the acts or reasoning of someone else.

When a parent asks a child, “why did you do that?” What you are really saying is, “show me the path that led you here.” “Help me see your mind.” “Make it clear to me.”

Here, you adopt the role of the teacher and want to understand how your kid is thinking.

But what if you want to understand how you are thinking?

Learning how to communicate your emotions, dreams and worldview to others, is hard.

It is difficult to find the right words, especially if you feel lost and don’t know where you are going. It is difficult, but not impossible.

Being able to explain your mind is a superpower that will help you on your journey through life. It can help you build better connections to others since they will have a better insight into who you are.

Therefore, I encourage you to practice. And you practice by writing.
Translating emotions into expressions. Even if your only reader is a notebook in the drawer by your bed, it still counts.

Having the language to guide people through your inner worlds is an invaluable communication skill. And it will help you understand yourself better.

To understand all, is to forgive all.

Explaining goes far beyond teaching. It is a way of understanding yourself and others.

From a personal experience I can tell you that it will help you when you are lost in the maze. And it will make you a better teacher if you ever find yourself in that situation.

We all get lost in our mazes sometimes. Knowing that and understanding that, makes it much harder to judge others and yourself for mistakes or wrong turns.

Sometimes we are lost. And the only way… to find your way, is to keep going.

Writing becomes your map. You practice with writing to find the right words, removing all the technical terms and creating powerful metaphors.

Writing is where you practice. It’s how you build the language to explain clearly.
But I want to stress one thing here.

This is not a homework! Nobody is going to test you, if you know yourself.

I assume that you do. So show me. Make it clear.
Explain and help me understand your worldview.

Show me where you have been.
Show me where you are going.

And let me know if you want some company along the way.

Want to learn more about me or my future courses,
send me a DM on LinkedIn

Until next time!
Daniel - The Talking Bridge

Ps. Music Motivation: