How shifting your focus makes you more powerful.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about How to teach and understand complexity, and the many layers that are usually ignored. These layers are useful for more than just teaching.

Being aware of all the layers gives you the ability to shift focus between them and this ability makes you powerful and better equipped to handle many situations in your life.

Let me show you.

The sudden realization

2 years ago I was sitting down to play with my daughter.
On this particular day we decided to build a town.

I took out some cardboard, and started to quickly draw some roads, and houses.
We were both excited to play with bricks and cars.

When I felt I was finished with the drawing, I looked at it and the first thought that went through my mind was…”What have I done!?”

I looked at it and saw common things we have in a city.

• A hospital,

• A fire station,

• A gas station,

• A grocery store,

• A police station,

• Houses and apartments,

  You know, a town!

What hit me hard that afternoon in the living room was not what I had drawn.
It was what I unconsciously had chosen not include.

• No bus stops,

• No bike lanes,

• No trams, and

• very few parks, trees and playgrounds

  This was a city designed for cars… not humans!

I suddenly realized how many hidden ideas, norms and assumptions I have about the world. Layers given to me by others or shaped by the world around me, all influencing how I act, how I think, and how I feel.

Just by noticing them, I could sense that their influence started to disappear.
I felt more powerful, knowing that I had changed perspective and seen things I hadn’t noticed before.

All this got me thinking. Can I use this in other situations?
And could I create this powerful sensation, both in me and others,
without having to rely on a “sudden realization”?

What would happen if I asked others to draw a city?

Last year I had the opportunity to host a workshop at a democracy festival in Gothenburg.

No lecture, no PowerPoint, just paper, crayons and the question; if you could design a city, what would it look like? It was all inspired by my own experience.

I wanted to see if they all drew the same thing.
I wanted to ask kids the question and see what they come up with.
I wanted to create a discussion with the parents around what they had chosen to draw
and what they had chosen to ignore.

At the end of the day, I had come to the realization that you mainly see the world though the lens of where you are.

• Young kids drew tree-houses and playgrounds.

• Teenagers drew schools, close to stores for shopping clothes or candy.

• Parents with young kids drew houses for their family with a nice garden and solar panels on the roof.

• Parents with older kids drew nursing homes for their older parents.

Where you are in life, influence what you see and focus on.
Whatever’s on your mind takes center stage and overshadow all the other layers behind it.

When I, or someone else, asked questions about things they had ignored, I could see that they started to think and see things a little differently. They became aware of the other layers since someone else pointed them out.

This was not surprising since this is what teachers, parents, coaches and mentors always have done. Asking questions to open up new pathways and teach new things.

Maybe that was all I needed. Find a question that I could ask in different situations and that made me notice more layers?

Which question could I ask?

I started with the simple question: “what am I missing?”
I tried it but noticed some bad connotation which made me feel stupid rather than curious.

“How many layers do I see?” became a much better phrasing.

1. It made me more humble and patient when talking to other people.
   Knowing that there are countless layers that I can’t see, makes it hard to ever judge or criticize someone.

2. I became more confident since I saw my knowledge and expertise and all the layers, I have added over the years. Yet again, also more humble since I sensed all the layers in other fields that I hadn’t explored.

3. The question also improved my communication because I could ask for clarification on their layers, and reveal my own, when I noticed that they had missed something or made a faulty assumption.

“How many layers do I see here”, became the question that helped take a step to the side and it works very well when communicating with others or if you want to teach or understand things about the world.

When turning the gaze upon yourself, I currently work on the assumption that an additional question is needed. Exactly what kind of question, I am not sure of yet.

Currently I am experimenting with: “Why do I see this?”

I have found that when dealing with your own emotions and personal development, the number of layers you see is less important. More energy can instead be given to investigating the different layers and how they impact each other and how you see yourself.

Regardless of which question you are using. The crucial part is the ability to stop and look at the situation again. To go into detective mode, looking for clues and expressing your findings to others and yourself.

The ability to shift focus and investigate what might be causing you to see something is a very powerful ability.

Power doesn’t come from certainty

I have found that recognizing there are always more layers to consider, creates an unexpected side effect: it decreases your certainty and makes you hesitant to act.

You see the complexity and contradictions which can slow you down. This doesn’t always feel powerful, especially when we’re taught that power comes from moving fast, being sure, and taking charge.

We often think that power comes from having answers.
From knowing, with certainty, how things are.
That’s one of the stories we’ve been told.

But maybe real power isn’t the ability to defend a single perspective.
Maybe it’s the ability to expand your view and see more layers of reality.

When you see more, you may act a little slower, but also wiser.
You ask better questions. You avoid false solutions. You notice who and what gets left out.

The more layers you can see, the more deeply you can understand others, and yourself.
It builds humility, empathy and understanding, all traits we need more of.

We’re living in a world that is complex, fast-changing, and often overwhelming.
We all carry assumptions and misconceptions. I still remember the strange sensation, that afternoon when I suddenly noticed many old layers.

Since then I’ve kept exploring what I see and why I see it.

I encourage you to do the same.
Keep looking. Keep asking.
Act when the time is right.
And you will feel powerful.

Want to learn more about me,
send me a DM on LinkedIn

Until next time!
Daniel - The Talking Bridge

Ps. Music Motivation: “Colors of the wind” by Judy Kuhn